The Importance of Investing in Self-Care
By: Aarti Mallya, Ph.D., Wellness & Life Coach
We know that stress can be unhealthy. While stress can take a gradual toll on our bodies and lives, finding time to take care of ourselves or to de-stress sometimes seems impossible. I get it. As a full-time working mom of twins, I constantly felt exhausted and depleted. Also, doing well in one area of my life (i.e., work or parenting) usually meant that another had to give (i.e., health or relationships).
As women, we are often so busy taking care of others’ needs, whether it be family or clients, that we forget to take care of our own. We have all likely heard the phrases, “put your own oxygen mask on first,” or “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” but how many of us take the time to nourish ourselves? For some of us, this can even feel indulgent or selfish. However, filling our own cups first is not selfish, but smart; it allows us to give more to the people and causes that matter most to us.
Through my own personal and professional wellness journey, I have discovered a couple of secrets. I have learned that taking even a few moments to disconnect from the stressors of everyday life makes a big difference. The other secret is this: we do not find the time; we create it. For me, making time meant waking up earlier each day to use exercise and quiet time to center myself. It also meant going to bed earlier each night and revamping my bedtime ritual. The HOW will look different for each of us, and it might take a bit of experimenting to determine what works best for our own lives and schedules. Yet the effort is worth the sacrifice. I eventually found that by making self-care a habit, I was able to be more productive at work and more patient and loving with my children and spouse.
The activities we incorporate into, or even remove from, our lives can provide energy on a deeper level. Here are some guidelines to get you started.
Develop a Self-Care Plan. This can include getting enough sleep, exercise, eating healthfully, conscious breathing/meditation and/or journaling.
Getting enough sleep (at least seven to eight hours a night) is the foundation needed for our minds and bodies to function well. Most restorative sleep occurs between 10pm-2am, so try to wrap up your day by 10pm. Engage in restful activities before bed, such as reading, knitting, light stretching or meditation.
Experiment with different forms of movement to find the type of exercise that works for you. Exercise can actually become the most enjoyable part of your day! Start the day with morning stretches, take the stairs, walk the dog or do lunges while heating up your lunch. Try a new group fitness class, or make it social and go for a walk with a friend.
Eat for energy by consuming leafy greens, whole grains, healthy fats and lean proteins; avoid or limit beverages or meals that zap your energy, such as caffeine, sugar, and processed foods. Start each morning with a large glass of water.
Begin a meditation or journaling practice, and commit to it, even if only for a couple of minutes each day. Find a local studio, coach or therapist, or use an app to locate one.
The other secret is this: we do not find the time; we create it.
Retraining Our Attitudes. Beating ourselves up does not help. Develop self-compassion and gratitude.
Speak to yourself as you would your best friend; work to transform any negative, self-sabotaging talk you may currently use into positive, supportive words.
Rule of Three: Start your day noting three things for which you are grateful; end your day with three good things that happened that day.
Create a mantra to remind yourself that you are more than enough just as you are. “I am more than enough, just as I am.” You can use this mantra in meditation, or say it in the mirror.
Decrease Stressors in Your Life. We often end up overloading ourselves out of fear of missing out or fear of inadequacy. Drop activities from your schedule and outsource what you can.
Do everything you can to “shut off” when you are not at work; allow yourself transition time to and from work. Engage in relaxing or enjoyable hobbies during your commute (i.e., listening to music you love, singing, listening to audiobooks, talking to a loved one while using a hands-free device, of course!).
Practice saying “NO” to requests, invitations, and extra responsibilities — unless it warrants an absolute “YES.”
Arrange time in your day for yourself; mark it in your calendar, and make it non-negotiable. Use that time to do something you enjoy, something that brings you comfort or relaxation.
Support. Engage with others with similar experiences, and be there for one another.
Join a support group (you are already off to a great start by being part of WOC!)
Start a listening partnership. Take turns “listening” with someone you trust, who you think will be a good listener. Choose your preferred topic and time; then, quite simply, start talking.
Invest in a wellness coach or therapist. This effort can support your wellness journey, whether you have past or current issues to work through, or you need an outlet for your stress.
As working women who are devoted to our families and to the causes we serve, I realize that our time is precious. So when you choose to make an investment, put yourself first.
Aarti Mallya, Ph.D., Wellness & Life Coach
Aarti Mallya, founder and CEO of the Mind & Body Route earned her Ph.D. from Columbia University, has 20+ years experience in science and health education, is a certified wellness coach, yoga and meditation instructor and mother of 8-year-old twins. Having overcome her own struggles of juggling professional goals, family life and well-being, Aarti is passionate about empowering women to optimize their health and unleash their full potentials. She is known for the fun-loving approach and compassion-centered philosophy she brings to enable clients to discover new possibilities in their personal and professional lives. Aarti offers 1:1 coaching, workshops and retreats.
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